Bullying isn't new. I'm sure that as long as large groups of people--teenagers, specifically--have gathered, there has been bullying. I was bullied when I was in school. Fortunately for me it rarely got physical, beyond occasionally being shoved into a locker, but verbal abuse can be just as devastating. The old adage about "sticks and stones" may rhyme nicely, but it doesn't ring true.
I remember one full week of school where no one spoke to me except for teachers. The "leader" of our clique and I had a disagreement, and all of our friends sided with him. No one from the other cliques really ever bothered with me. To be honest, no one really understood me, not even my friends. I was a "nerd" who wanted to be a cheerleader. I tried out for and, to everyone's amazement, made the squad. My friends--theater, band and yearbook "geeks"--could not relate. The other cheerleaders never saw me as one of them. In fact a rumor was started that the only reason I made the squad was because my mother called the school and made them put me on the squad. No one knew the hours and hours of practice I had put in at home prior to tryouts.
Being raised by a single mother, many of my clothes were secondhand. I was made fun of for not being stylish, but not just for that. For things that neither I nor my mother could control: for being short, for having freckles, or for being smart. Once someone passed me a wrapped up package in class. When I opened it I found amputated grasshopper legs from biology lab. I, of course, freaked out, and everyone had a good laugh. I didn't get the worst of it, though. There were others in my class who suffered more than I did. I am sorry to say that I didn't stick up for them as often as I should have...unless I had my friends around to back me up I was afraid to draw attention to myself.
Names hurt. Rumors hurt. Nasty things written on bathroom walls hurt. Notes passed in class hurt. Pranks intended to humiliate hurt. In my day, that was what we dealt with. Today bullying has found a new weapon: technology.
Twenty years ago it took a whole school day for a rumor about someone to circulate around the school. Today it can happen in seconds. With texting, Twitter, YouTube and Facebook, bullies have the means to humiliate their targets faster and to a wider audience than ever before. This form of bullying is so pervasive that it actually has its own term, "cyberbullying."
Children are dying. They are literally being bullied to death. We need to take a stand. Adults need to be role models for children. The way that we talk to each other...when someone cuts us off on the highway, or bumps into us in a store...sets an example for the children who hear us. When we hear children being mean to each other, we can't tell ourselves it isn't our business and move on--we have a responsibility to intervene. And when a child or a teenager tells you that someone is bullying him or her, don't recite the "sticks and stones" rhyme or tell him or her to be the "bigger person." Get involved! Too many children are scared to go to school, too many children and teens are seeing suicide as their only means of escape. We need to end this epidemic NOW.
At my 20th high school reunion I was able to witness an amazing event...one of my classmates approached someone I was sitting with and apologized for being mean to her all those years ago. For me, witnessing that was the best moment of the entire reunion. The reunion itself was not all that spectacular. The food was okay, the venue was nice and everyone broke off into the same cliques we had belonged to in high school. But that brief moment renewed my faith in people. Unfortunately, for many victims of bullying that moment will never come.
There are terrific organizations out there dedicated to helping take a stand against bullying and helping victims deal with bullying. A few are listed below:
GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, is the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students. It was featured on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on December 2, 2011.
Stand Together, a project of GLESN, was also featured on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on December 2, 2011.
The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone.
StopBullying.Gov provides information from various government agencies on how kids, teens, young adults, parents,educators and others in the community can prevent or stop bullying.
Stomp Out Bullying is a national anti-bullying and cyberbullying program for kids and teens.
The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better.
I remember one full week of school where no one spoke to me except for teachers. The "leader" of our clique and I had a disagreement, and all of our friends sided with him. No one from the other cliques really ever bothered with me. To be honest, no one really understood me, not even my friends. I was a "nerd" who wanted to be a cheerleader. I tried out for and, to everyone's amazement, made the squad. My friends--theater, band and yearbook "geeks"--could not relate. The other cheerleaders never saw me as one of them. In fact a rumor was started that the only reason I made the squad was because my mother called the school and made them put me on the squad. No one knew the hours and hours of practice I had put in at home prior to tryouts.
Being raised by a single mother, many of my clothes were secondhand. I was made fun of for not being stylish, but not just for that. For things that neither I nor my mother could control: for being short, for having freckles, or for being smart. Once someone passed me a wrapped up package in class. When I opened it I found amputated grasshopper legs from biology lab. I, of course, freaked out, and everyone had a good laugh. I didn't get the worst of it, though. There were others in my class who suffered more than I did. I am sorry to say that I didn't stick up for them as often as I should have...unless I had my friends around to back me up I was afraid to draw attention to myself.
Names hurt. Rumors hurt. Nasty things written on bathroom walls hurt. Notes passed in class hurt. Pranks intended to humiliate hurt. In my day, that was what we dealt with. Today bullying has found a new weapon: technology.
Twenty years ago it took a whole school day for a rumor about someone to circulate around the school. Today it can happen in seconds. With texting, Twitter, YouTube and Facebook, bullies have the means to humiliate their targets faster and to a wider audience than ever before. This form of bullying is so pervasive that it actually has its own term, "cyberbullying."
Children are dying. They are literally being bullied to death. We need to take a stand. Adults need to be role models for children. The way that we talk to each other...when someone cuts us off on the highway, or bumps into us in a store...sets an example for the children who hear us. When we hear children being mean to each other, we can't tell ourselves it isn't our business and move on--we have a responsibility to intervene. And when a child or a teenager tells you that someone is bullying him or her, don't recite the "sticks and stones" rhyme or tell him or her to be the "bigger person." Get involved! Too many children are scared to go to school, too many children and teens are seeing suicide as their only means of escape. We need to end this epidemic NOW.
At my 20th high school reunion I was able to witness an amazing event...one of my classmates approached someone I was sitting with and apologized for being mean to her all those years ago. For me, witnessing that was the best moment of the entire reunion. The reunion itself was not all that spectacular. The food was okay, the venue was nice and everyone broke off into the same cliques we had belonged to in high school. But that brief moment renewed my faith in people. Unfortunately, for many victims of bullying that moment will never come.
There are terrific organizations out there dedicated to helping take a stand against bullying and helping victims deal with bullying. A few are listed below:
GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, is the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students. It was featured on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on December 2, 2011.
Stand Together, a project of GLESN, was also featured on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on December 2, 2011.
The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone.
StopBullying.Gov provides information from various government agencies on how kids, teens, young adults, parents,educators and others in the community can prevent or stop bullying.
Stomp Out Bullying is a national anti-bullying and cyberbullying program for kids and teens.
The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better.
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