If you live in New York, you know that Marriage Equality is a hotly debated subject right now. I was fortunate enough to interpret at the Pride Festival last week, and I received a Pride bracelet, which I intend to wear until Marriage Equality passes the New York Legislature. It passed the Assembly last week...and looks to be one vote short at this point in the Senate, although it still has not come for a vote. The Legislature session was supposed to end today, but apparently has been extended, so there is still a chance.
Many people have been posting on Facebook in favor of both sides. I have engaged in conversation--I won't stoop to name-calling and avoid those who do so--with people who are against Marriage Equality, trying to understand why anyone would deny rights to another human being. Though I have asked the question over and over again, generally I am answered with biblical quotes or the standard "it is an undeniable truth that marriage is one man, one woman." Even those who try to point out that marriage is for procreation suddenly fall silent when people point out that not all heterosexual couples choose to, or are capable of, have(ing) children.
I am really struggling to understand why people would be so against two people in love being married in a civil ceremony. Shouldn't those who object on religious reasons be satisfied with exemptions for religious organizations? Why are people so determined to oppress others? There are those who claim that they do not hate the LGBT community, yet they still refuse to acknowledge the right of marriage.
I cannot understand how the legal union of two loving, consenting, taxpaying citizens can be such a threat to others. My father-in-law used the sanctity of marriage argument with me, but when I pressed him to tell me how it would affect his 45+ year marriage, he really couldn't. Why can't people just accept separation of church and state? If churches don't want to sanction LGBT marriages, they don't have to. Many churches won't sanction interdenominational marriages--how is this any different?
It really breaks my heart that this even needs to be brought to a vote. Everyone should automatically have the same rights. But we have always needed a vote to ensure the rights of "minority" groups, so here we go again. It just seems like the right thing to do to me...I cannot understand why a loving God would want anyone to be oppressed.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
A Sense of Belonging
As human beings, we all want to feel like we belong somewhere, that we fit in. I often wonder if that desire was stronger in me because I was an only child. Also, because when I was 16 years old I found out that I was half-adopted (my mother married when I was two years old and he adopted me) I remember feeling that I wasn't quite sure who I was--my family tree suddenly had many question marks on it, and I wasn't even sure what nationalities I was.
As a child, the place that I felt most like I belonged, where I could be myself, was at Girl Scout Camp. Camp Little Notch, located in the Adirondacks, was my second home for eight years. I was so disappointed when I was old enough to be a C.I.T. at the camp and I wasn't able to because C.I.T.s had to pay to be at camp, and I needed to stay home and earn money for college. I had hoped to return to work as a counselor, but apparently it wasn't meant to be. I did work for 8 years at CLN's sister daycamp, Camp Is-Sho-Da, where I again found a place where I could just be me, but my heart was always tied to CLN. When ever I participate in those visualization relaxation activities, Green Cathedrals at CLN is the place I picture. A few years ago, the same day that I was laid off from working at the Girl Scouts, the council announced that they were closing Little Notch for "renovations." Somehow I knew that the camp wouldn't be reopened, and I was more upset about that than losing my part-time job. Sure enough, eventually the announcement came that the camp would be sold. A group of people who love the camp as much as I do banded together and formed "The Friends of Camp Little Notch," an organization to save the camp and restore it to being used for programs. Perhaps one day I will be able to sit at Green Cathedrals again and share it with my family.
When I went to college, I again looked for people with whom I could be myself, where I felt that I fit in. I found this in a wonderful group of women in the Phi Sigma sorority. I never expected to join a sorority...I considered myself fiercely independent, not much of a partier, although I did enjoy a good party now and then, and I certainly didn't feel that someone who put me through hazing could suddenly become my "sister." The Sisters of Phi Sigma shared my beliefs, welcomed diversity and had a strong sense of community and philanthropy. As part of the Epsilon pledge class, we were the last class before the sorority became the Gamma Upsilon Chapter of Sigma Delta Tau. After leaving Plattsburgh State I eventually lost track of most of my sisters, but the wonders of social media have reunited us.
As an adult, I still had a need to belong somewhere. Growing up, my family wasn't really deeply religious--at one point my parents had considered joining the Lutheran Church, but declined when the pastor told them I would go to hell if I died because I hadn't been baptized. My family didn't believe that God would do that to a five year old child, so we didn't frequent that church much after that. My grandparents attended a Seventh Day Adventist Church, and I would go with them. The people at the church were very nice, but they spent a lot of time talking about converting people in "third world" countries. I never understood why people who were perfectly happy in their own beliefs needed to be converted. As a teenager I began to believe that there is "someone" who hears our prayers, but that we all may have a different name for that higher power. I began to consider myself spiritual, but not religious. I hadn't found a religion that I could embrace, because every religion I looked at seemed to believe that their way was the only way to heaven. I also had issues with most organized religions' views of marriage equality. In fact, it was while I was looking for a church that supported marriage equality--as an entire religion, I know that there are many individual churches that support marriage equality--that I found Unitarian Universalism. A friend and I attended a Solstice Service together and I was intrigued. I began attending services at the First Unitarian Society of Schenectady and found myself connecting with the people. I found them to be a welcoming, inclusive congregation with a focus on social justice. As a social worker, I felt right at home.
We all need a place where we belong. Sometimes we need to search to find it, but we eventually will.
As a child, the place that I felt most like I belonged, where I could be myself, was at Girl Scout Camp. Camp Little Notch, located in the Adirondacks, was my second home for eight years. I was so disappointed when I was old enough to be a C.I.T. at the camp and I wasn't able to because C.I.T.s had to pay to be at camp, and I needed to stay home and earn money for college. I had hoped to return to work as a counselor, but apparently it wasn't meant to be. I did work for 8 years at CLN's sister daycamp, Camp Is-Sho-Da, where I again found a place where I could just be me, but my heart was always tied to CLN. When ever I participate in those visualization relaxation activities, Green Cathedrals at CLN is the place I picture. A few years ago, the same day that I was laid off from working at the Girl Scouts, the council announced that they were closing Little Notch for "renovations." Somehow I knew that the camp wouldn't be reopened, and I was more upset about that than losing my part-time job. Sure enough, eventually the announcement came that the camp would be sold. A group of people who love the camp as much as I do banded together and formed "The Friends of Camp Little Notch," an organization to save the camp and restore it to being used for programs. Perhaps one day I will be able to sit at Green Cathedrals again and share it with my family.
When I went to college, I again looked for people with whom I could be myself, where I felt that I fit in. I found this in a wonderful group of women in the Phi Sigma sorority. I never expected to join a sorority...I considered myself fiercely independent, not much of a partier, although I did enjoy a good party now and then, and I certainly didn't feel that someone who put me through hazing could suddenly become my "sister." The Sisters of Phi Sigma shared my beliefs, welcomed diversity and had a strong sense of community and philanthropy. As part of the Epsilon pledge class, we were the last class before the sorority became the Gamma Upsilon Chapter of Sigma Delta Tau. After leaving Plattsburgh State I eventually lost track of most of my sisters, but the wonders of social media have reunited us.
As an adult, I still had a need to belong somewhere. Growing up, my family wasn't really deeply religious--at one point my parents had considered joining the Lutheran Church, but declined when the pastor told them I would go to hell if I died because I hadn't been baptized. My family didn't believe that God would do that to a five year old child, so we didn't frequent that church much after that. My grandparents attended a Seventh Day Adventist Church, and I would go with them. The people at the church were very nice, but they spent a lot of time talking about converting people in "third world" countries. I never understood why people who were perfectly happy in their own beliefs needed to be converted. As a teenager I began to believe that there is "someone" who hears our prayers, but that we all may have a different name for that higher power. I began to consider myself spiritual, but not religious. I hadn't found a religion that I could embrace, because every religion I looked at seemed to believe that their way was the only way to heaven. I also had issues with most organized religions' views of marriage equality. In fact, it was while I was looking for a church that supported marriage equality--as an entire religion, I know that there are many individual churches that support marriage equality--that I found Unitarian Universalism. A friend and I attended a Solstice Service together and I was intrigued. I began attending services at the First Unitarian Society of Schenectady and found myself connecting with the people. I found them to be a welcoming, inclusive congregation with a focus on social justice. As a social worker, I felt right at home.
We all need a place where we belong. Sometimes we need to search to find it, but we eventually will.
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